Lube, Oil, and Valve Job

With “Lube, Oil, and Valve Job,” you’ll get practical, everyday advice on
maintaining good health, from a guy who had an aortic valve transplant and
lived to joke about it. Advice like: never eat anything that had parents.
Or: yes, McDonalds cooks their French fries in vegetable oil, but what
about the rest of the food in this place? You just look at the McMenu,
your cholesterol is gonna jump a half a dozen points. Those shouldn’t be
golden arches out front, they should be hardened arteries, shouldn’t they?
Or: if Mother Nature didn’t make, and/or you can’t pronounce it, then you
shouldn’t eat it. Have you ever read the ingredients on a tub of
“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter?” If you can find any ingredient that sounds
remotely like it came from a cow, I’ll eat my hat, slathered in it. They can’t
believe it’s not butter? I can’t believe it’s not a chemical weapon!